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Wanted to share some success I’ve had with the timeline – which was quite unintentional – but with which I can be more intentional moving forward. (I shared this with some of those who were at the extra group session last week).
So I had a brief chat with both my parents separately (they are not together), where I casually brought up to them a few trips to Europe we had gone on when I was 12 and under. I asked them if they remembered when we did what, and shared with them the memories I had and had them share their memories. I didn’t prepare any questions – and in fact after speaking to one parent I wrote a few questions down to ask the other parent (my mom’s memory is better than my father’s). It turned into quite a love fest of nostalgia and opening up to one another around “happy” memories. Neither conversation was more than about 15-20 minutes and at the end of it I felt so much closer and connected to them. It was also interesting to see what memories I had that weren’t in fact true – for example, I thought I had taken the train by myself quite young when in fact I had not! And this was a story I had been telling myself for decades! (But of course, the fact that I FELT I was alone, is important to me).
I just wanted to share this in case it can help anyone else. And to celebrate a win as I was able to fill in a lot of blanks I had in my own memory. Yay!
Thanks for bringing this to my attention Michael. I hadn’t been made aware of this before. As someone with a mediation past I can see a bit of a difference between the empowerment triangle and the drama triangle just from that stance, in that for the empowerment triangle it really requires people who WANT to change or solve an issue. While, in the drama triangle I see more relationships where perhaps not everyone is aware of the conflict or wants to take on any form of change or accountability – i.e. family 😛 As noted, I think by Dominika (? sorry!), when we had our extra group session, the empowerment triangle is more tied to performative coaching, but both are absolutely tied to ego work (brilliant right?!). So lots of similarities. When I look at my own family dynamics with people who have personality disorders, who are addicted and disassociated (and not aware they are in these spaces), I can’t see how I can enter the empowerments triangle with them, unless I am ALL the parts. ha. (been there done that!). I agree with Carly that they are the healthy versions. Anyways, great stuff – thanks all! Look forward to seeing the Ryzio triangle Marti!
Thank you so much for the reminder that this is indeed a process – and quite a big one. And that pulling at a little string here and there may unravel something worthwhile. The prompt questions are absolutely a help, and as I mentioned in today’s additional session I shall look at some old pictures and approach my family about “positive” experiences.
Thank you so much!
Thanks Dominika – I have been doing this for the last week or so, but still see so many gaps on the timeline – I’ll do my best to be patient and keep going.
And thanks for sharing – sensations for sure (taste, smell, hearing in particular) I find are great unlocking mechanisms – so glad to hear that you unlocked some stuff, particularly around years that seemed mainly stressful.
And I can understand the disappointment in a response like that, but good on you for doing what you wanted to do and being in your gratitude 🙂
Thanks!
Signal looks good to me. I like the ease of it and I could download it onto my comp so I’m not getting “dinged” all the time – though suspect notification preferences can be changed also. I like the safety features.
Thx!
